


A White Christmas in my Heart

by Kenoa



Series: Merry Reedmas and a Happy 900 Year [1]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Decorations, Christmas Fluff, Depression, Deviant Upgraded Connor | RK900, Domestic Fluff, Dorks in Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Christmas, Fluff, Gavin Reed Backstory, Gavin Reed Needs a Hug, Gavin Reed Not Being an Asshole, Loneliness, Love at First Sight, M/M, Romantic Fluff, Soft Upgraded Connor | RK900, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Upgraded Connor | RK900 Has Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:01:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22068202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kenoa/pseuds/Kenoa
Summary: A hand ran up and down his back, and a deep tone in a low whisper sounded next to the shell of his ear. “It’s ok. Everything will be fine. You are ok.”Gavin forced himself to peer at the eyes of the stranger. He knew the owner of such striking sapphire-blues had never crossed his path; he’d remember if he did. “Who- who… are- you?”“I still don’t know that,” the stranger answered, his hold tightening minutely.“I- I don’t know who I am... a- anymore.”“Maybe we can help each other figure that out.”“M- maybe.”Gavin’s life had been going down a spiral until December 2038. He was a hollow shell of who he used to be. When the last ever created android saved him in a true guardian angel manner, his life was turned upside down. Now, a year later, unexpectedly, said android had never left. 2039 would be Nines’ first real Christmas and he was determined to turn this the best Christmas ever known for Gavin and himself.
Relationships: Upgraded Connor | RK900/Gavin Reed
Series: Merry Reedmas and a Happy 900 Year [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1588405
Comments: 4
Kudos: 79





	A White Christmas in my Heart

**Author's Note:**

> **Please, heed the tags! Suicide attempt reference; nothing graphic happens, but the state of mind is there. Be safe, sweeties.**
> 
> So, Happy (belated) Holidays! Here is my gift to you. It starts a bit heavy, but it totally turns into a super fluffy thing!  
>  Also: this will have a second part, a very smutty one :P  
>  I hope you enjoy! ^^
> 
> A huge thanks to the amazing [Limchi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/limchi) for being the most wonderful beta <3 (Go read her works, they're amazing!)

Gavin played with the gun in his hand. The pistol twirled swiftly around his trigger finger, once, twice… until the motion stopped. Setting the safety back on, he huffed out a laugh before re-holstering it.

He used to be happy. Somewhat happy. He used to feel as normal as a teenager or young adult could feel. He’d never gained any genuine friends and stood mostly by himself. It hurt, but he was ok. He used to laugh, cry, feel. He used to be so many things.

It didn’t take long until it changed. Things began to go downhill during his criminal justice major. Gavin was lonely. His once kind personality drove people away, and he closed himself off. And when he entered the workforce, Gavin drove himself into complete isolation.

He strived to be a hard worker, to excel in any task given to him, to be the detective he’d dreamed of being. While his colleagues slacked off and threw their chores onto the android officers’ shoulders, he worked diligently and relentlessly. His hectic life became an abandoned well of loneliness, and his efforts at work deterred him from gaining any friends. He kept telling himself it was ok; he was there to perform his job, not to make friends.

It was _not_ ok.

Gavin’s stress-level rose higher and higher with each passing year. He’d scheduled an appointment with a psychiatrist; too many people were going through the same, and he only managed a time slot for two months ahead.

At the same time, the androids allegedly started rebelling against abusive humans. _Serves them right_ , he thought in the privacy of his mind. Moreover, Connor’s arrival promptly set him on edge; the anticipation of ending up dead was undeniable. Something he’d been thinking about.

Gavin even tried messing up with Connor, _the deviant hunter_ , desperate for the trigger of something he had not yet garnered the courage to do.

December 2038 arrived. The androids’ freedom disseminated, and the futility of Gavin’s existence tormented him. He didn’t recognize himself anymore. He hit rock-bottom. He lost recollection about each and every Christmas tradition he used to carry out. He wasn’t religious, but he remembered heartily enjoying the warmth of the celebration. Instead, he lay awake, forsaken, under scratchy blankets on his frigid bed. His house felt as lifeless as his heart. He cried. He was unaware of how long he cried, but he cried every single day in the solitude of his apartment.

Right now, a day shy from Christmas, Gavin sat on a creaky wooden bench in the DPD’s locker room. Staring dully at his badge, he’d come to a decision. He swivelled it on his calloused fingers, flinging it and observing the shine of the flickering ceiling lamp that hit the scratched black metal. His phone buzzed time after time; Gavin ignored it. After hours of the light ceasing to cast its rays through the barred-up windows, he unholstered his gun one more time. He trailed his fingers on the smooth metal, contemplating the last years of his pointless life. His hard work ended up disregarded by his boss. He frantically tried making friends but was labelled an asshole.

He was alone. He felt rejected. He was a hollow shell of his previous self. Was it really worth to keep suffering?

He took the safety off of the loaded gun. Tears trailed openly down his paling cheeks, and soon the pistol became a dark blotch in his vision. His right hand trembled as he lifted the used weapon. He pointed it at his temple. The rim was cold against his feverish skin, yet it was not a reason to halt him. _Now’s the time_. His index finger twitched, and he tugged the trigger. _Any moment now_. The gun would fire, and all would end. It didn’t.

Time stopped, and Gavin couldn’t see. A frantic tackle sent him flying hard onto the floor; everything moved in slow motion. The gun slid with a blunt scratch on the tiles, coming to a stop after colliding with one of the scraped, old lockers. The painful impact of his bones on the ground never came; his body was cushioned by a warm embrace, unyielding arms wrapped around his quivering frame.

Gavin’s lungs heaved, and the man couldn’t breathe. He heaved for air and the oxygen crashed like a wave in his chest. He began to sob hysterically. It had been far too long since he’d been last hugged. Since he’d been touched carefully and tenderly, as if he was a precious item that could break. The water in his eyes bleared his sight, and the human could not recognize the person holding him. Rescuing him. His vision only allowed him to make out a blood-red glow that flickered in a succession of lightning bolts. The arms enveloping him didn’t waver; Gavin curled on the ground with the android that saved him from committing suicide, clutching the fabric covering the person’s upper body with all of the strength that remained in his tired limbs.

A hand ran up and down his back, and a deep tone in a low whisper sounded next to the shell of his ear. “It’s ok. Everything will be fine. You are ok.”

Gavin forced himself to peer at the eyes of the stranger. He knew the owner of such striking sapphire-blues had never crossed his path; he’d remember if he did. “Who- who… are- you?”

“I still don’t know that,” the stranger answered, his hold tightening minutely.

“I- I don’t know who I am... a- anymore.”

“Maybe we can help each other figure that out.”

“M- maybe.”

* * *

2039\. The dreadful events of the previous year took the form of the ghost of Christmas past. Nines, an RK900 and the only of his kind had glued himself to Gavin’s side. Newly deviated and alone in the chaotic world — to an extent — the duo stuck together. Their complex relationship was symbiotic; they completed each other.

During his miserable years of life, Gavin always wondered about the veracity of love at first sight. He’d been in love before. Though never truly maddeningly, real and raw. Gavin knew how it could break your heart with no point of return. He fathomed how it could mend your heart after that point of no return. Without a warning, Gavin had fallen in love. Head over heels, a fallen victim of the so-called most wonderful feeling in the world.

At first, he was unaware of it being mutual. He’d chalked up their proximity and connection to his own delusions. All because the android gripped him hard and lugged him onto safety when Gavin was drowning. However, Nines had never left his life. He went to great lengths to win Gavin’s fear over. He claimed the heart he’d already conquered on that cold winter day and, one afternoon in Gavin’s apartment, the android explained the legitimacy of their love.

“Romantic love runs along certain electrical and chemical pathways through the brain, and can be triggered instantly."

“So… you’re saying that’s what happened between us?”

“To some extent. For me, it was an electrical trigger in the true sense of the words. Your trigger can be considered more chemical; your brain created dopamine and serotonin, mimicking the feeling of being high on heroin." 

Gavin arched his left brow upwards. “You’re my drug, is that it?”

“More or less. Due to those chemicals, you felt instantly attached to me, and as your brain sensed the attachment was reciprocated, our love was, in fact, at first sight.”

Remembering the emotional moment he’d attempted suicide didn’t become easier with the passing of time. His chest ached, and breathing burned. The oxygen acted like acid travelling in and out of his lungs. Every so often, the urges still paid him a visit. He never opened the door to them.

Nines possessed the gift of interpreting his boyfriend’s moods. He lifted his hand, resting it on the human’s cheek and running delicate circles with his thumb. “Look at me. Our love is real, and I’m overjoyed I was allowed to encounter you and remain by your side.”

Gavin turned on his seat, draping his legs over the android’s lap. He scooted over, curling up against Nines’ chest and clinging to him. His boyfriend wrapped his arms around the human’s frame, a tight hold so reminiscent of their first.

Tears flowed down Gavin’s cheeks, leaving streaks in their wake. “And I’m thankful you saved me. I love you so much.”

Nines caressed his back, fingers running up and down with the calculated appropriate pressure. He placed a kiss on the crown of Gavin’s head. “I love you too.”

* * *

In a true ‘time flies’ fashion, Christmas Future arrived. 2039 would be Nines’ first real Christmas. Gavin had shared stories about some of his previous traditions at the android’s questions, and Nines concocted a plan in his mind. He’d taken note of every single tradition, along with some interesting findings of his own; he was determined to turn this the best Christmas ever known for the both of them.

Last Christmas Gavin’s mood had been divided between tears and apathy. Nines would make sure that memory stayed in the past; he always accomplished his mission.

* * *

First stop: decorating a Christmas tree. The clock of the TV set showed 11:59 pm, October 31st, and Gavin and Nines lay on the side, cuddled on the navy blue couch. They were marathoning horror movies. The android could barely contain his excitement, his blue LED lighting yellow every once in a while. When the clock ticked 00:00, Nines set everything in motion.

“It’s November.”

“Wha- uh, yeah.”

“It’s not October anymore.” Nines’ mouth spread in a grin.

“I know?” The human turned half around, peering at his boyfriend. “What’s this about?”

Nines’ smile only grew wider. “We are allowed to start decorating the house for Christmas.”

Gavin furrowed his brows, lips pressed in a thin line. “You’re joking, right?”

“I am most certainly not.” The RK pecked his boyfriend’s nose. “Scouts’ honour.”

The detective’s features shifted into narrowed eyes. “You didn’t go to the scouts.”

This time, Nines pecked the side of his mouth. “You’re missing the movie.”

Gavin thought the whole conversation felt sketchy. He turned, resettling with his back flush against the snug body of his boyfriend.

* * *

In the next days, Gavin caught Nines checking long-dead Pinterests of Christmas’ house decorations. On the third day, he relented. The detective took a break for coffee at work, and his boyfriend accompanied him as always. “Did you mean it?”

“Did I mean what, darling?”

“Wanting to decorate the house for Christmas like, _now_.”

For the android, all had started as a joke he’d found online, yet it spurred in him the will of providing happiness for his boyfriend and distracting him from the events of the previous year.

“It would be incredibly pleasing. I am wholly curious about the tradition, and experiencing my first Christmas traditions with the man I love appeals to me as utterly romantic.” Nines beamed.

Heat spread from the base of Gavin’s neck, rising onto his cheeks. “I, uh…” _Am in love_. He caved. “I suppose we could do it tonight, then.”

It was worth it, though. Joy filled Nines’ eyes, the blue glinting with the light. The android lifted him in the air, spinning him around and planting a soft kiss on his lips.

Gavin held onto his boyfriend’s neck, the pair chuckling simultaneously. He didn’t give a fuck about whoever saw them. Nines had been the only one by his side in the darkest period of his life.

* * *

Nines did not allow Gavin to stay beyond their end of shift hour. At 6 pm sharp, the android was tugging Gavin out of his chair.

“Hey-hey! What are you doing, Nines?”

“It’s six o’clock, Gavin.” Nines threw his boyfriend’s coat onto his face.

“ _Whpth!_ ” Throwing his hands in the air, he yanked the coat out of his face and crossed his arms. “I know that; I still have a report to finish, Nines.”

Nines draped a thick scarf around his boyfriend’s neck, followed by the beanie. “I am aware. There’s more tomorrow. Your arm.”

Gavin’s mouth fell open. Nines, the most work-abiding person, sent him away. He let himself be enclosed in the coat and towed into the parking lot. The detective was unaware of the reason for his boyfriend’s actions.

Parking the car in Gavin’s usual spot, Nines darted to the storage room, hauling his boyfriend around. The android rummaged about boxes and boxes, searching for the golden prize of an artificial tree and its decorations. An advanced android like him could’ve used his analysis systems to find them instantly, yet it did not hold the same amusement. More so, his boyfriend stood statue-like at the door, chuckling every now and then as he observed the excited android scouring and poking around. To be allowed to hear that heavenly sound of happiness from Gavin was invaluable.

At last ending up finding the set of boxes, Nines stacked them on his frame, hauling them back to the apartment. He poked his nose in every single one of them, touching, mixing, and scattering things around. Tree set up next to their electric fireplace, the android laid the complete cluster of decorations on the couch, the table and the floor.

"Our house looks like a damn flea market," Gavin grumbled.

Nines halted his labours. From his crouched position on the floor, he gaped upwards. "... our… house?"

Pink dusted Gavin's nose. "Well, yeah… You're always here, you're almost part of the furniture. Maybe you should consider moving in." He scratched the back of his head. "I like having you here with me."

The android jumped from his spot, drawing his boyfriend into his hold. "I love you so much, you know that?" Their lips connected, skin chapped by the cold against frictionless one. After a moment, they parted. "I set everything on display so I can assess all the options." He spun Gavin around, hugging him from behind. "Now I require your assistance in determining the most suitable combinations; after all, you're the expert in the field."

Gavin snorted, and Nines peppered his neck with kisses. 

"I don't mind, babe; whatever you choose is fine by me."

"No, no," the android declared. His fingers ran along the detective's side, tickling mercilessly. "I require your assistance or else I will continue to malfunction and will engulf your body in tickling motions from the spasms of my fingers."

The human contorted in his hold, laughing loudly and attempting to bat his boyfriend’s hands away. " _Nooooo_ , _hahaha_. Fine, fine, _I give up_!"

The couple's early evening was spent between baubles, lights and giggles. Gavin teased Nines, decking him with Saint ribbon. The detective instructed his partner, teaching him about spacing the decorations, the best angles for each coloured bauble, and the optimal rate of handcrafted wooden toys on the tree.

Moments later the room glistened with colourful tones and vibrated with bright shines. Picking a polished metal box, Gavin announced the final touch: the start topper.

"I should lift you up to aid you in reaching the top."

Gavin pouted. "I'm not _that_ small."

"Yes, yes you are." Nines poked his boyfriend's cheek. "You are my tater tot."

"You're such a dork, Nines."

The couple chuckled together.

The detective set the star on the tree. "Can you plug the lights?"

"With pleasure. 3, 2, 1..."

Nines turned them on. The room was filled with red, green, and blue lights flashing at machine-gun pace.

Gavin’s hands flew to his eyes, trying to cover his sensitive irises. “ _Ahhhh_ turn it off, turn it off, it’s like we’re in the middle of a _warrrr!_ ”

His boyfriend scurried to the control. He was _not_ accustomed to these aged settings, fumbling to actually change the light show. Cycling through the presets, Nines found a much more calmer one, the colourful bulbs fading serenely into varied hues. He settled down the control, re-joining the human. Nines enclosed Gavin’s body against his, draping his arms around the man’s shoulders.

Gavin’s eyes followed the colourful transitions of the lights, awe and warmth filling his core. The baubles were more or less evenly spread, but the other decorations hung a bit all over the place. There weren’t enough strings of lights to fill the tree to its bottom — Nines had draped the lights too close on the top — so a rough tiny diagonal stood obscured. The android had also found **funny** the set of cat-themed decorations his boyfriend had, and spread them around wooden toys. The decoration differed from articles and magazines; it didn’t fit the traditional cookie-cut Christmas. Yet… its beauty rendered him speechless and passionate. He made it with the only person that had loved him in a long time. Maybe, just maybe, he’d be fine.

“It’s really charming.”

Nines dotted his neck in a flurry of kisses. He couldn’t help being drawn to the hardened yet sweet detective. “It’s incomparable to you.”

Gavin snorted. “Such a dork.”

* * *

The first day of December arrived; Christmas was officially allowed everywhere. It exploded like a snowball in the DPD, and every cubicle — even the toilets — lived up to the expression ‘deck the halls’. Gavin suspected Tina and Connor had something to do with it.

The day was mostly uneventful if it wasn’t for the impromptu music blasting on the bullpen’s speakers at the end of the day.

**_I don't want a lot for Christmas…  
There is just one thing I need._ **

Gavin rose his head from the tablet he worked on. “ _Really,_ Connor?”

_**I don't care about the presents,  
Underneath the Christmas tree** _

“Can’t hear you, Detective!” Connor approached Tina, offering his hand. Making a show of curtsying, she accepted it gracefully. At the same time, Nines’ LED buffered, sluggishly stuck on yellow. He looked away from his screen, surveying them. Tina and Connor pirouetted smoothly, elegance coating each of their steps, despite her uniform and the RK’s ugly shirt – no doubt one of Hank’s.

**_I just want you for my own,  
More than you could ever know!  
Make my wish come true, oh…  
All I want for Christmas… is you, yeah!_ **

The pace picked up, the pair gyrating in a flurry of charming movements and alluring quicksteps. Without warning, officers milling around the area joined them, following in their lead. Could it be a flash mob?

**_I don't want a lot for Christmas,  
There is just one thing I need!  
And I… don't care about the presents,  
Underneath the Christmas tree._ **

Gavin rolled his eyes and groaned. He would not deny being mildly impressed with the motion and energy some of his colleagues displayed but it was still work-disruptive.

**_I don't need to hang my stocking,  
Thereupon the fireplace…  
Santa Claus won't make me happy  
With a toy on Christmas Day!_ **

Arms and legs flew freely around the narrow space between desks and counters, almost as if detached from their owners. Gavin flinched; maybe he ought to move out the way. Ever his guardian angel, his partner read his thoughts. In the blink of an eye, the android stood by his chair, intertwining their fingers and swiftly pulling him towards an archway.

**_Oh, I won't ask for much this Christmas,  
I won't even wish for snow, and I;  
I'm just gonna keep on waiting,  
Underneath the mistletoe!_ **

It was… intriguing. It had to be a flash mob; Gavin knew it. Connor must’ve been behind it; he even managed to make old Anderson wave his arms around in _coordination_. Those were some fine negotiation skills, he conceded. He supposed he should be puzzled as to why his knowledge about this was nil. It wasn’t a novelty. He’d grown accustomed to not be invited or let in on secrets. It weighed him down. It was ok.

_**I don't want a lot for Christmas,  
This is all I'm asking for;  
I just wanna see my baby,  
Standing right outside my door!** _

When Gavin’s world spun all over, it came as unexpected. Lights and wreaths danced around him as a delicate grip whisked him carefully. The hand on his waist turned and twirled his frame; the other pulled it flush against a familiar body.

_**I just want you for my own,  
More than you could ever know…** _

“Babe- _babe_ , what are you doing?”

Their movements flowed, the couple losing themselves in the melody for the moment. The music took control, and Gavin’s heart fluttered around, no longer weighing in his chest. The human was no dancer; he didn’t move with purpose, direction, clarity. Yet, he drifted in the arms of his boyfriend and found himself forgetting the world.

**_Make my wish come true…  
Baby all I want for Christmas is you!_ **

A deep voice reverberated by the detective’s ear. “ _All I want for Christmas is you, baby…_ ” It was rich and smooth, like caramel dripping on an ice-cream.

Gavin was losing all his coherent thoughts.

Turning his boyfriend around, Nines drew his body tight against his chest, swinging them cross-armed. He placed a sugary, reverent kiss under his boyfriend’s ear. “ _Is you, baby…_ ”

The mythic song came to an end, with the slew of officers stopping in a standstill of exaggerated poses and unbelievable flourishes. The music replacing it was less unimpressive; the relaxing tone of ‘Driving Home for Christmas’ neglected to draw as much attention.

A noise burst from Gavin’s lips, and he chortled; his giggles tangled with snorts, and the mixture was a prime example of amusement. “Did you have anything to do with this?”

“Who knows? Maybe yes,” Nines smirked, the right side of his lip tugging upwards. “...maybe not.”

A high-pitched cackle filled the room. “Hey loverboys, you’re under the mistletoe!” Tina barked.

Synchronized cheers erupted all throughout the area. Still in the android’s arms, Gavin looked to the ceiling. They were indeed under a very conveniently hung mistletoe.

“C’mon, kiss!”  
“Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!”  
“Woohoo, a kiss!”

The onlookers kept egging them on.

“You should not pay attention to them, Gavin.” Nines’ eyes were soft, the otherworldly blue spreading like sunny morning skies. “You do not have to do anything you do not desire.”

Gavin’s heart raced, yet his fears ran away from his core, sapphire relaxation infecting his sight and taking over his body. It was undeniable he wanted to kiss Nines. Gavin caved into his own wishes; he wrenched the android by his sweater towards his body. Nines was dipped down in a feverish kiss as his boyfriend took the control over.

Wolf whistles echoed around them but Gavin wasn’t the tiniest bit embarrassed. Peeking at the teal dusting his boyfriend’s cheeks was the golden prize. The human pulled Nines back up, resting his forehead on the android’s. Their gaze never broke.

“Have I already told you you’re a huge dork?”

“Countless times. Yet, you love me.”

Gavin sighed. “Too much.”

_Pinging RK800 model designated Connor #313 248 317 - 51…_

_Connection established._

_Nines #313 248 317 - 87 >> Thank you, Connor.  
Connor #313 248 317 - 51 >> Anytime, Nines._

* * *

In the weeks that followed, numerous traditions ensued; the couple visited the multiple Christmas decorations set all over Detroit — Nines eagerly recording the moments with selfies — they drank hot chocolate and thirium hot chocolate at a Christmas market and even stopped by the sweetest Santa Claus to take a photo. In it, Gavin smiled close-eyed, a big set of teeth on display and the pair standing by each of Santa’s side. That photo adorned the fireplace.

Christmas had taken over their lives, but Gavin secretly waited for the upcoming activity, mind racing and heart energized with the possibilities.

One of the lovers’ most recent adventures involved gingerbread cookies. Nines was irresistibly drawn to baking; like a moth to a flame. When he arrived home after a _small_ grocery run with industrial batches of ingredients and a mound of snow decking his hair, Gavin hadn’t batted an eye.

The human sighed and smiled, a dimple peeking on his cheek. He stood up from his seat on the couch and went to dig out his old cookie cutters. Nines was not to be blamed; it had been Gavin who blabbed about it being the ultimate ‘ _Gavin’s Christmas tradition’_. He should have expected the android to recall no less than _every single thing_ uttered by him.

And so, on a cold Saturday afternoon, the couple baked chocolate gingerbread cookies. Snow flurried outside their kitchen window, the ashen sky forbidding the sun from coming out to play. Only the unique dendrites and prism crystals were allowed to prance and dance.

No light peeked inside the kitchen; the blinds were sealed shut. The strings of tiny bulbs adorning the kitchen cabinets offered the main source of light and filled the room with golden, shining hues. The heat of the oven, combined with the fireplace in the living room, created a homely and cozy atmosphere. Back from closing the blinds around the house, the vision that greeted Gavin made his heart skip a beat. Nines was clad in Gavin’s azure blue apron, the one stating _‘Mr. Good Lookin’ is Cookin’_. The android set ingredients and utensils on the counter, and the aura surrounding him screamed domesticity. Gavin didn’t mind it one bit.

As he joined his boyfriend in the kitchen, the android passed another apron — this one deep green — by his head. Nines twisted him around, tying the fabric. Gavin peered down.

“Ha, ha, _very funny_.”

Gavin’s apron read _‘I Suggest the Sausage’_ , a drawn hand pointing downwards. Nines reeled him back again, pulling him flush against himself.

The android claimed Gavin’s mouth, lust overpowering him. “It is _not_ a tease.” He nibbled on his lover’s reddish lips, mouth trailing down towards the neck. “It’s the house’s specialty.”

Gavin moaned audibly. He took control, pulling his boyfriend by his sweater’s collar. Their kiss held a raw intensity, tongues battling with each other and breathing faltering.

“Do you- really wanna- _hmm_ , bake?”

“I do- sweetheart. You will… s-savour the desserrr-t more thoroughly.”

Gavin’s body writhed, and he wished to hump Nines right then and there. He had to use every ounce of restraint in him — and then more — to hold back. To distract them both the android pressed play on a Christmas playlist yet the anticipation south of their bodies remained **.**

After their heated-up session, getting into the rhythm was the hardest part. Once back in the zone, the pair worked together like the stellar team they formed; the field of action was unimportant. Their connection could never be faked. Gavin taught Nines all the secrets of his favourite Winter cookies. Together, they rolled the pin, spreading the bronze-coloured dough on a mound of flour. Gavin laughed and caused mischief around the kitchen. A faint puff of air blew flour in every direction, especially onto Nines‘ black clothing. Not even his apron could’ve saved him from the disaster.

Gavin should’ve known better than to mess with a military android. Nines was able to serve revenge on a frozen plate, and that was exactly what he did. The human was too sluggish to evade him, and Nines caught him by the waist. One arm wrapped around his back holding him hostage, the RK plunged two fingers onto the flour’s paper bag. He drew white lines on his boyfriend’s cheek and Gavin contorted in a feeble attempt to escape. The laughter echoed in the kitchen, and the lovers kissed. White, messy, and overjoyed. Their hands glided slowly and tenderly over their bodies, and goosebumps engulfed their skin.

As the trays of cookies slid into the oven in the eleventh hour, exhaustion racked Gavin’s body. His legs hurt, and his knees were locked; he definitely needed to sit down for a couple of minutes. He hopped onto the kitchen counter. Nines shut the oven and moved to stand between his legs. The android enveloped his boyfriend’s frame by his waist, skillful fingers kneading along his back. The RK leaned his forehead against Gavin’s, observing the light that, despite his fatigue, sparkled in his eyes. Nothing else existed at that moment. Only them and their love.

Gavin cupped Nines' face between his hands, one finger caressing the skin below the android's ear. With the other hand, he trailed one finger around the cyan LED before leaning in closer and ghosting his lips against his lover's. His heart raced in his chest, his breathing mingling with Nines' cooling protocols. The android narrowed the distance between them. He kissed unhurriedly and soft; a love promise. It was real and raw, the silent promise being set in stone with each of their touches.

The couple lost track of time. Nines, usually able to time by the millisecond, had fallen into the spell of love cast by Gavin, failing to set a timer to monitor the cookies. His processes wouldn’t blare to him a _Mission Failed_ warning; he’d set _‘Love Gavin’_ as his main purpose months and months ago.When the standard ding of the oven chimed, the android picked his boyfriend up and set him on the floor. They took the confections out, inspecting them. Some were cracked, others slightly deformed. It was irrelevant by their priorities’ list; varied shapes and sizes were part of the charm. They were handmade; beyond all of the ingredients’ taste stood the perfect element: love.

They tilted the trays towards a cheerful red tin for cookies; one of Gavin’s oldest. Its body showcased drawings of reindeers and hearts, while its lid was of a black material. Ideal for writing with chalk. The biscuits trickled down into the can, filling it to the brim. The lid rested aside, allowing the cookies to cool down and keep the moistness of their chocolate.

The scent of ginger wafted through the air, overtaking the apartment and lingering around, and Gavin’s mouth watered with anticipation. He brought the tin to his nose and inhaled the scent hastily. Waiting another moment was out of the question. Gavin stuffed half of a cookie inside his mouth. _Mmmm!_ His lips tugged upwards, dark crumbs coating his teeth; the heavenly taste surpassed the one from his memories by far. He licked his fingers, devouring the remaining half. The warmth and spice were palpable, and there was no proof of the cookie he ate having ever existed.

Despite the tiredness imbuing his body, pride burned in Gavin’s heart; pulling his boyfriend sideways, the detective threw his arm around the android’s shoulders. “Thank you. For doing this with me.”

Nines leaned down slightly and kissed Gavin’s hair crown. “There is nothing to thank me for.” Seizing the piece of chalk forgotten on the top of the counter, he tried handing it to his boyfriend. “These remarkable biscuits deserve a fine name of their own.”

Gavin barred the white stick. “I’d be honoured if you named them.”

The android’s hand glided gracefully, elegant frosted strokes sprouting from his movements. The cursive lettering read: _‘A Dash of Love’_.

* * *

Before long, December 24 had arrived. The month had been filled with small and big traditions, new and old activities here and there. Gavin had never laughed until his cheeks hurt, enjoyed himself just for the sake of it without having to account for anyone or felt so loved his heart burst and his head swam. His feelings of loneliness from the previous year had no place in his life. 

Gavin was unfamiliar with taking the day off; it had been long since he had a family to visit or someone to go home to. Last year was no different. All of it had caused him to topple over the edge.

This year was a Ghost of the Future, in every single possible way. Nines had them take the day off, and there was no alarm ringing in their ears. Instead, the couple snuggled in their toasty bed, lazing until eleven in the morning. Gavin — who referred to himself as a wishy-washy human — was chronically tired and took advantage of the impromptu vacation to sleep like the Sleeping Beauty. With a particularly seductive kiss under his boyfriend’s ear, Nines had agreed the title was fitting. There was nothing of utmost importance for them to do, nowhere to run to. Nines, the master of planning, had completed their shopping list since who knows when.

All that was left for them to do was play the waiting game. Gavin relished in it. Nines’ processes increased their capacity at the inactivity, and the android couldn’t deny he enjoyed it as well. Today was a day dedicated to them. They would enjoy an intimate celebration, linger around the fireplace in the comfort of each other’s arms and be themselves, unfiltered. The idea that these holidays required the pressure and stress was baffling. They didn’t need that. _Gavin_ didn’t need that.

Connor had wrinkled his nose when Nines let him know. The older android wanted his brother around on a holiday meant for the family and was heartbroken to not have him. Blackmail ensued, with Connor pleading with his chocolate brown eyes, and Nines eventually caved. Agreeing with his boyfriend on it, a social visit on the 25th was set. Today was theirs and theirs alone.

The Christmas dinner meal already simmered in the oven by noon, while the human-edible Christmas sweets and the thirium-based ones rested on the cherry-wood coffee table. With no one to impress but themselves, the day was spent in fuzzy pyjamas, curled up on the couch under a woollen blanket and in front of the television. Christmas movies were a historic mark they could not run from, and Gavin made it a point of showing the most famous to his boyfriend. _‘Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal!’_

The night was the moment for a new tradition for the couple. In one of their gift shopping excursions, a set of ugly Christmas sweaters had captured Nines’ eye at long last. The android couldn’t resist acquiring them, which prompted the pair to debut their new garments on Christmas night. The sweaters might be regarded as ugly or overly exaggerated, but Gavin genuinely enjoyed his jolly red sweater patterned with green Christmas trees and crystal snowflakes. Nines’ rich-blue one with candy canes and a cheerful gingerbread man was equally perfect, different from what the android usually sported.

This was also the first tradition fully picked by his boyfriend, as Nines continued to find fascination and inspiration in Pinterest's long-dead boards. It was Nines’ decision; he knew what he liked and fought for what he wanted; Gavin was an example of that. And Gavin loved every single one of these sweet facets of the would-be-machine. No one could dare saying the RK was a lifeless object.

Dressed up in their new sweaters, the couple enjoyed the night dedicated to themselves. Snow danced outside in an orchestrated choreography. The howling of the wind marked the tempo of the snowflakes that tiptoed around, pilling up on benches, rooftops and trees. Every cubic inch of the city was covered in a thick, white cloak, freezing everything that dared being outside. Gavin and Richard were pleased to not be part of that category.

The lights illuminating the room were softened sparks, plunging the area under a magic spell. Strings shined in incandescent gold, tinting the furniture in hazy shadows. The flames inside the electric fireplace flickered between salamander-orange and butter-yellow, their dance licking the glass containing them. The simulated sound of wood crackling lived as a low background companion euphony that became lost in the show and lights of the living room. In spite of that, it held such a weight that if it did not exist it’d be instantly noticed. The warmth from the fireplace bathed the entire house with its comfort, and the couple let themselves fall into the embrace of the dream-like setting.

The dim lighting emitted its mesmerizing glow around, emphasizing the atmosphere of intimacy. Gavin and Nines sat by the couch after the late dinner, snacking on dried fruits and thirium counterparts. The shadows bestowed Nines’ features with a harsher angle, his cheeks sharper than in natural light. His pale skin was bathed in golden hues, and the freckles that dotted his skin conferred the android the mystical aura of a reverse-coloured galaxy.

Fingers intertwined with Nines', Gavin contrasted with his boyfriend. His olive skin took on a darker, sepia complexion. His Christmas sweater was the sole element preventing the detective to fully resemble an actor of a timeless movie with honey-glazed scenes and reddish-brown shadows.

The mellow sounds of Christmas jazz 60s melodies sweetened the background of their easy conversation. When the all-time classic 'White Christmas' echoed from the speakers, Nines stood up from the couch.

He set the radio volume to the level of a saccharine whisper and offered a hand to the human, smiling unexpectedly shyly.

“No way, babe,” Gavin shook his head, almost dislodging it from his neck. “You’ve already had me dancing in front of everyone at the precinct.”

Hand motionless, Nines presented him with the gaze of a kitten who’d been denied one last treat.

“Besides, I don’t actually know how to dance.” Gavin teetered his fingers on the side of his neck in a nervous scratching.

“There is no one here but us at the moment.”

Gavin let himself be pulled upwards by the hand lingering in front of him.

“This is my favourite song; won’t you allow me this early Christmas gift?”

Time stopped, and Gavin stared into the pleading blues of his boyfriend. Could he really ever say no to this man? He sighed. “...alright.”

Nines’ features lit up instantly,and Gavin was led to the farther side of the room. His skin felt sticky. Magnetized into the arms of the android, Gavin let his head rest against Nines’ chest. He picked up the steady drumming of the thirium heart; it wasn’t that unlike from a human one. If anything, it was more real.

Their movements bore a particular kind of flow, slow and serene; private. Gavin melted in the flush comfort of the person he loved, fears and anxiety withering away. Sadness and restlessness took a step back, the swaying steadying his heart and warming his soul **.** Gavin often wondered if he’d ever be fully happy again. Moments as these gave him a glimmer of hope.

“Another set of android laws was concluded yesterday. The rights to marriage and family and to participate in the government and free elections are the 157th this year.” Nines’ intimate tone reverberated in Gavin’s ear.

“True. I’m happy about it.” Gavin buried himself further into his boyfriend’s body as if diving into the most comfortable mattress at the face of the Earth. “It's been one heck of a year for you guys.”

“That is accurate.” The android spun Gavin once. “We should celebrate it.”

“Hm. How do you wanna celebrate?”

Nines’ hand trailed upwards on the human’s back. He reached for Gavin’s cheek, cupping it and gently tipping his head to bring their eyes onto each other. “Marry me,” he whispered.

Panic welled in Gavin’s chest. His brain fabricated elaborate outcomes as to why everything would end painfully. “No, Nines, you’ll, you’ll regret it…” His throat closed, and he could no longer breathe. 

The couple hadn’t halted their swaying, yet for Gavin, everything seemed to have come to a standstill. Whatever coordination he displayed was on auto-pilot. 

Nines grazed Gavin’s cheek with a feather-light caress. “I won’t.”

Gavin’s heart scrambled inside his chest, wanting to escape its confines. “I’m- I’m still broken.” His frayed mind sold him stories of impending doom. “I’m not... cured,” he whispered. Tears descended on his cheeks.

The RK’s other hand joined the previous one on the opposing side of Gavin’s face. He dutifully brushed the tears rolling down his boyfriend’s face; some escaped his ministrations, finding themselves on Gavin’s Christmas sweater. “You’re _not_ something that needs to be fixed. You’ve been ill, yet you’ve also been healing. And I’m still here.”

Nausea crept through Gavin’s stomach, fear overpowering every cubic inch of his body. His chest was void of air, and he seemed to have forgotten how to breathe. _I don’t deserve this kind of love_. His breathing became shallower, and his lightheadedness drove him into a point of near-blackout.

He spoke frantically. “Maybe- maybe we should wait; you’ll... see this is not what you want-”

Nines dove to claim salty, wet reddish lips, silencing his boyfriend.

Reluctantly, the android withdrew from the kiss. “Why would I wait for something I am certain of desiring? I have no doubts.” Nines pressed his lips against Gavin’s forehead. “However, if this is something you do not seek, I take no offence.”

“I- of, of course I want to. _I love you._ ”

“Then marry me.” His blue eyes shined, reflecting the love in his soul. They twinkled, more intense than a thousand suns. “I am aware I do not possess a ring, but marry me.”

“Yes.”

**Author's Note:**

> I have a [Tumblr](https://kenoa-ajisai-no-niwa.tumblr.com/), come chat with me ^^  
>   
> Once again, Happy Holidays! As I mentioned, I have another chapter in the works, a very smutty one.  
> I'll be posting it as part of the collection, so wait for a collection update! :P
> 
> I figured I'd try something new, so here's a little voting time! Which was your favourite activity organized by Nines?  
> 😻 - _Decorating the house for Christmas with Kitten decorations_  
>  👬 - _Dancing to All Want for Christmas under the mistletoe_  
>  🎅 - _Taking a picture with Santa (where Gavin is smiling with his eyes closed) and setting it on the fireplace_  
>  🍪 - _Baking Cookies: the ultimate **Gavin's Christmas Tradition**_  
>  🛋 - _Curling up on fuzzy pajamas to watch Christmas movies_  
>  👕 - _Ugly Christmas sweaters_  
>  🎄 - _Dancing to the sound of White Christmas_  
>  Copy and paste on a comment the emoji of your favourite activity, and let's check which should be the ultimate **Gavin & Nines' Christmas Tradition**!
> 
> As always, thank you for reading, I love every single one of you! Also, I love to chat with you! Your feedback makes my heart burst <3


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